Part Two: Packing, Panic, and Pumpkin Spice: Preparing for My First Group Tour
It’s November 2025, and the holidays are in full swing. Living in Texas, the closest I can get to a crisp, traditional fall is giving into the pumpkin propaganda and treating myself to Pumpkin Spice Latte from La La Land. I enjoyed every last sip until I hit shame. As my trip to France approached, I found myself going back and forth between preparing with excitement and low-key freaking out about traveling with a group of strangers.
Group travel is not a new concept to the world. There are many great companies out there that plan trips. This world is also filled with great organizations that offer group travel in exchange for volunteering and helping out great causes. I’ve known this because I had considered this many times in my youth. With my generalized anxiety disorder, this was the first time in years I felt like I was walking into one of my oldest fears. Big groups of people. Many years of therapy have assisted me slowly overcoming this issue, but it does have a tendency to come and go. It’s exhausting.
For weeks, I continued with my research. France is cold in December, but doesn’t get any snow until later in the winter. They have cold and rainy days. Perfect, just like Houston. I opted for water resistant boots and a waterproof fleece lined rain coat. Since I heavily enjoy walking, I knew these would get me through my trip. I ordered fleece-lined leggings and merino wool socks. Great for keeping you warm and locking out moisture. Finally added some gloves, because everything I read said that I would definitely want them. Great. My checklist is done.
It’s now less than two weeks from my trip, and it’s the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Suddenly I see everywhere on my feed a snow covered Paris. Wow. It looked just like a dream. A blanket of snow all over the City of Love. This is exactly what I wanted. I looked at my calendar and had a sudden realization. I was dejected. How could it snow before my trip? What was wrong with the weather? Eventually I calmed down and remembered the real and current state of our climate crisis and I moved on.
I don’t know how else to describe how it felt that week prior to my trip other than drained. I worked pretty much everyday except Thanksgiving. I would worry about how I would react when meeting the other people on the tour group. Would I make a great impression? Would I get along with them? Do I snore? Oh no, how do I not know if I snore or not? What if my roommate snores? What should I do? I can’t go on a group tour. I struggle around big groups of people. Followed up with, I’m so excited for this trip! I can’t wait to see all the Christmas markets. Paris is going to look absolutely beautiful with all the sparkly lights. I can’t wait for all the sweet treats!
Every day. Back and forth. I had an emergency phone session with my therapist who reminded me of my breathing and tapping exercises. Yes. I would be fine. I’ve traveled many times before, I will travel again. It’s going to be ok. And eventually it was ok. However, packing for my trip brought on a whole new level of anxiety I had never felt.
As a type-A person, I am pretty organized, and at this point in my life I had mastered the art of packing a carry-on. Especially when I travel to Europe. The challenge came when I remembered that the last time I traveled during the winter was to visit my family in NYC. Cold, slushy weather and the occasional snow day. However, since I always go shopping when I visit them, I would pack a bigger suitcase, which in turn had space for winter clothing. I did not think about that at all when preparing for this trip. Winter clothes are much heavier and thicker than traditional clothing. It was a puzzle trying to fit everything in my packing cubes, but eventually figured out that wearing all my heavier pieces to the airport was going to clear up space. I was finally able to go to sleep around 2 am once I finished packing for my flight.
When I woke up later that Thursday morning, it started like any other day. I brushed my teeth, made breakfast, fed and walked my dogs. I said goodbye to them, and proceeded to make my way to the airport. I made a pit stop at a local mall because they have a special kiosk that offers currency exchange. I completely forgot to order through my bank, so this was my best option. Just as I was walking back to the car, it began raining. Perfect, just like Paris.
Oddly enough, once I arrived at the airport later that afternoon, I was feeling calmer. I was ready for this trip despite my anxiety. I knew I was taking a big step towards facing one of my fears, and I was also in for a great time. While I don’t remember much from the wait at the airport, I do remember there was an hour delay, but by the late evening we were fully boarded and ready to fly to Charles du Gaulle. I would wake up in Paris the next morning. It would be both exhilarating and a true test.
Next Up: Part Three Was I crazy to sign up for a group tour at 35?